If the shoe fits, try the other one. Both feet may not be the same size. It's been said that there is more than one way to skin a cat. How many ways do you need and why would you do it in the first place. The ASPCA may want to look into this.
NEWS FLASH
Time warp update.An unidentified vagrant is facing indictment today. He is being charged with several counts of trespassing, illegal transport of produce across state lines, vagrancy and violation of federal farm regulations. The ACLU is coming to his defense, charging the government with freedom of expression violations. The man, calling himself Johnny Appleseed, is being held without bail pending identification.
In a related story a large man and his unlicensed ox are being ordered to cease and desist with their major excavation project, pending the result of an environmental impact study. A spokesman for the construction company, Paul Bunyan inc., claimed that the increased tourism generated by the project would be well worth the expense.
On the international scene, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro appeared on state television last night and implored his people to remain firm in the face of stepped up economic sanctions being imposed by the imperialistic American government. He cited a dramatic increase in boat building as a sign of a strengthening Cuban economy.
On the local front. All of the counties street gangs met at a unification rally last night vowing to cooperate better in their attempt to kill, destribute drugs and terrorize neighborhoods. They agreed to place more emphasis on recruiting young members and discussed the need for better weapons in light of the armored vests that law enforcement officers are wearing. Representatives from police and local government have agreed to meet with gang leaders to discuss their differences.
In sports action today, NFL player reps tried an end run with salary demands against the always tough owners. Defensive attorneys were able to strip the ball and hold the players to a modest gain. During a half time interview, Buck Cash, the players leading money maker, promised to stop theowners cold in their attempt to score a profit. We'll bring you further updates as second half litigation continues.
On the lighter side of the news, a Hollywood couple stood naked on the corner of sunset and vine to protest the plight of the homeless. When, after three days, nobody noticed them,they decided to give up their vigil.
And now an editorial in favor of gun ownership by Wyatt Winchester representing the national rifle association. Excuse me, we'll have to postpone this segment. I've just been informed that Mr. Winchester was the victim af a drive by shooting on his way to the studio.
Warning.... The following scenes may not be suitable for viewing by intelligent adults and the opinions expressed may not be those of the American public. We now switch or cameras to the floor of congress where senator Phil A. Buster is arguing for his bill requiring clean, registered hand guns be distributed, free of charge, to addicted armed robbers. Proponents of the bill claimed that the registered guns will be easier to trace, making law enforcements job easier.
We interupt this broadcast for a test of the emergency broadcast system. This is only a test. Had it been a real alert you wouldn't hear anything because we'd be getting the hell out of here.
Osama Bin Laden was in the news today. So what,s new?
The president of Mexico has proposed a trade agreement with the president of the United States. The respective wives were cool to the idea. Double dating maybe, but that's all.
SAW
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